You know how in magazines etc from about September they have these Christmas timetables – Step by step guide to creating the perfect Christmas ?Well here’s my version:
How to have a perfect-ish Christmas with next-to-no outlay of time of effort!
- October and November – Instead of using this time to look for early Christmas presents, menu planning and saving money for the holiday, haunt the property ads and spend every spare weekend visiting potential homes. Make a half hearted attempt at preparatory packing and clearing out. (Not too much though – you don’t want to tempt fate!)
- 1st week in December – You could use this to dig out your Christmas decorations, test lights, discard old decorations and buy replacements, but instead find a house, make a real start on packing and chucking out the detritus of 20 years in the same place.
- 2nd week in December – Send your husband to hospital so he can have a heart attack in a nice safe environment. Spend the rest of the week in a tizz of packing and hospital visiting.
- 3rd week in December – Move house. This shouldn’t take long so you can devote the rest of the week to lying ill in bed.
- 4th week in December – Only a few days to Christmas! Now that you are fully refreshed and in a cosy new house, albeit surrounded by boxes and haven’t got the hang of the fire yet, it’s time to think about celebrations. The first class deadline will be staring you in the face so grab an assortment of Christmas cards and bankrupt yourself by posting them out first class. Take time out to collect your offspring from airports and bus stations. Presents – your nearest and dearest will expect presents but you’ve no time left for hand crafted things of beauty and no money left to buy well thought out gifts…. Thank goodness for 24 hour supermarkets!
- Christmas Eve – time to turn the house upside down looking for a Christmas tree and decorations – surely they’re here somewhere? Nip out to the shops and buy last, last minute pressies. Wrap the things you have got, stick up the tree, drape tinsel and greenery over selected spaces, pop the gifts under the tree and stand back well pleased with yourself that you made it after all!
Thanks to William for putting up the tree, and Vicky for helping me pick presents for under a fiver, and for coming back from China with a ton of stocking fillers that she proceeded to stuff in stockings for all of us, and thanks to all of us for setting aside any greed and for really appreciating a book, a jumper, some hand cream for Christmas gifts. We opened our little packages with the delight that can often be missing if a Nintendo is bought instead of a Wii, or the wrong brand of trainers.
We had a delightful day, and were so busy enjoying ourselves we didn't have time for Christmas lunch at lunchtime, so after visiting my mum in the afternoon and having fun with the greater family, we had a civilised Christmas dinner in the evening, and because no one was driving anywhere we could have wine and flop on the sofa afterwards.
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